As I ride my new bike down the pathway,suddenly the front weel flew off. Nothing was going through my brain. It was silent for a moment, then bang the weel was bouncing and banging along the pathway,ouch the bike flipped backwards. I hit my head on the concrete.
I screem,cry and yell in terror. Ouch the bike was still on me i keep yelling so my parents can hear me the bike was hurting my stomach as the seat of the bike was painfull .A few secands later mum and dad ran out the garage in horror of the new bike that had fallen to pieces.
You did a great job with this piece of writing, Grace. It's very expressive and completely captures the moment. I love the "bouncing and banging along the pathway" - really well written. You obviously remembered this moment well! Quite a quirky ending too - with your parents seeming to be very concerned at "the new bike that had fallen to pieces". Well done. Sharon Holt
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